A relationship that has been wounded by a painful break up cannot easily be mended. Breaking up is such a defining decision that on the event that one party will want ex back, the possibility of winning the ex back would be an indefinite feat. However, for those who are deeply motivated to get their ex back, here are five principles that will boost your effort to a more probable reunion.

Patience. This value stands on top of the list. Deciding to win the heart of your ex is a bold step after having closed your unsuccessful relationship. As such, you must be prepared with the new challenges that you'll faced with given this new quest that you will undertake. Unlike pursuing a mate for the first time when you are filled with excitement for what is yet to happen, pursuing your ex lover will definitely be a lot less exciting. You have known the person for quite some time, and have gone through both good and bad experience him/her. If you have to live through those negative experiences again, it will pay to be patient until the storm dies down and the heart is ready to function again. Bill, 24 realized that he loved May, his ex-girlfriend from college. They meet again after two years, and he decided to pursue her again. However, May has just painfully ended a serious relationship that they both know it would take some time before she'll be ready to commit again. In this case, patience is indeed a virtue.

Understanding. Lots of understanding. Getting your ex back means you are now willing to take another shot on a relationship that fell into a mishap. What makes you think it will not be bound for the same fate this time around? Ensuring a more successful 'second courtship' requires a clear head that is capable to understand what went wrong in the first place, and how to avoid such errors in the future. Penny, 23, for instance, wants to get back with her ex-boyfriend, Allan, who has repeatedly cheated on her when they were still together. Although she admits that she is still in love with Allan, she tries to evaluate and understand their relationship before jumping into the reunion boat with him.

Sensitivity. In line with the capacity to understand the flaws, as well as the strengths of the relationship, you must also exhibit sensitivity to the desires of your ex. Even if you are fully certain of your decision to want him/her back into your life, he/she might have different plans which you must also respect. The person might decide that he/she wants more time to enjoy his/her being single, or that he/she strongly feels that your relationship will not work out. Bottom line is that the decision will not only be yours to made. John, 25 decided to win back his ex-girlfriend, Honey, 20. Honey rejects his efforts as she realized that she'd rather focus on her starting career. A sensitive man would give way to the needs of the other event if he sincerely wants his ex back.

And there you have it - patience, understanding and sensitivity. These core principles may sound easy but really, they require work and sincere motivations. Once you have these, you'll not only get your ex back but you'll have a better, more meaningful relationship the second time around.


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